If you’re going to predict doom, at least make it a few years away.

(Author’s note: I wrote this back on june 7th or so, but I wasn’t sure if it was funny enough to put out there. Listening and reading it now, it’s kinda funny, so why not?)

Waiting for a fax from my optomitrist today, I saw a funny fax come through, predicting a nuclear attack on the UN on June 9th or 10th.

To me, this is laugh out loud funny, but I imagine that some people must be suckered in by fatalistic handwaving like this. “Ooooh, (read in a spooooooky voice) we cracked the biblical code! It’s a message from the future!”

Here’s a hint, when you’re predicting the future, give yourself more than 8 days to be proven wrong.

Bible Scholars Predict an 86% Probability of a Nuclear Terrorist Attack on the UN
Complex in Manhattan on June 9th or 10th

Before we get into the scriptural reasoning lets look at this physically. Mayor Bloomberg has said that terror schemes have mentioned the UN amongst other targets. NYC has been the main terrorist target in the past in the US. Nuclear terrorism has been debated in the media as a possibility in the longer term future, but next weekend?

Well, that is where the bible research comes in. The date is deduced from the symbolic code of Jesus’ parables and Daniel’s visions and Joseph’s dream interpretations.

Unless my musical theater history is getting fuzzy, Joseph’s dreams were about his brothers and ruling Egypt. I’d love to see this “bible research”. I imagine it’s something like this:

Listen to this conversation (in the tone of “Dib and Zim”)
“Researcher” One: J=10 + E=5 + S=19 – U=21 + S=19 = 9! They’re going to bomb the UN on the 9th.

Researcher Two:Oh my god! … Wait, I get how you got to the number 9, but where’d the bombing part come in?

“Researcher” One: It’s all right here in the numbers? It’s the biblical CODE!

Researcher Two:Wait a second (counts on fingers). That doesn’t even add up to 9.

“Researcher” One: This is the God code! It’s the code from Jesus!

Researcher Two: Even if you were to add all the letters from the word Jesus, it comes out to 74, which still doesn’t tell you…

“Researcher” One: That’s not a date! You speak crazyness! Don’t infect me with your crazy!

CLANG. whump.

“Researcher” One: They bomb the UN on the 9th!


The rest of the fearmongering BS is beneath the cut, and it’s certainly good for a laugh.

A bible research group called the Lords’ Witnesses, claim to have found the true symbolic bible code which applies to both the old and new testaments. They have found that all bible accounts obey certain grammatical rules. In particular the number of nouns which act as nouns in every bible account is divisible by the number of meanings that the account has, and the total number of both distinct nouns acting as nouns and distinct possessive noun chains (which contain a noun acting as a noun and other nouns acting as possessive adjectives) in each account is likewise divisible by the number of meanings of that account. They have discovered that every bible account has encoded within it the number of extra symbolic meanings that the account has. Some bible accounts have no extra symbolic meanings, others have as many as 6 extra symbolic meanings.

They have verified the two noun counting rules which they believe every bible account obeys for the first 227 little bible stories in the four gospels of the new testament and found them to be true in each case. They have presented these results in a paper and in the form of two lectures on DVDs to 200 academic statisticians around the world. As yet none of them have been able to disprove their findings. For more on this see www.truebiblecode.con/understanding.himl

This work is not a New York Times best seller like the Hebrew Letter Skip code of Michael Drosnin and it is not a commercially successful fiction like the Da Vinci code of Dan Brown. But it does reveal accurately how the last true Christian church should be run, which is what might one expect from a true bible code. It also reveals that Armageddon begins on March 23rd 2008, and ends on August 20th 2008. It reveals that Jesus comes down to earth to sort out the sheep from the goats on 5th/6th May 2008 during Armageddon, at the end of the 1335 days of Daniel 12:12 and that the faithful sheep are raptured to be angels on 6th/7th June 2008. This is the post tribulation rapture. After that things get really bad, and we succeed in destroying ourselves fully by August 20th 2008see www biblecodeintro.com/intro44.html.

The true bible code reveals the true nature of Hell and the unceasing and everlasting love that God has for every person whom he ever created, the wicked and the good alike. It reveals that there will be 7 terrorist nuclear bombs before Armageddon, which is the final man made nuclear holocaust. The first of these bombs will hit the UN complex in Manhattan between sundown on Friday June 9th and Sundown on June 10th, this year. The Bible Scholars have 2 independent scriptural interpretations which give the same week for this attack. Furthermore the attack must occur on a Sabbath according to both of the interpretations. For a simple explanation starting from the basics and ending with a nuclear bomb in at the UN in Midtown Manhattan during the 2″d weekend in June 2006, see www.truebiblecode.com/rtyc.htmi

The Lords’ Witnesses in all seriousness therefore beg everyone in NYC of any religious or anti religious persuasion whatsoever, who has faith that God can predict the future, to leave NYC before the second weekend in June and, if interested, to read all about our great biblical understandings from some other place! And more to the point, at some time after that weekend! The Lords’ Witnesses, 93 Shepperton Road, Islington, London N1 3DF, United Kingdom is a non profit company limited by guarantee. http://www.truebiblecode.com . Your biblical early warning system. To be deleted please call 1-800-337-0069.

Author: ericskiff

Hi, I'm Eric Skiff - I'm a developer at Amplify.com, co-founder of NYC Resistor, and BarCamp planner here in NYC.

1 thought on “If you’re going to predict doom, at least make it a few years away.”

  1. Verifiable proof that “Armageddon” has begun…

    Hello Glitch and all,

    Pay close attention, profundity knocks at the door, listen for the key. Be Aware! Scoffing causes blindness…

    Did you ever consider that Christianity is the false prophet of the Apocalypse, that Rome is the so-called anti-messiah, and Jesus Christ is the false messiah? The symbolism of seven years (tribulation) would refer to the seven 360-year cycles from the 11th cycle (second temple period) until now, the 17th cycle on the Hebrew calendar. Remember that the prophecies were written by Hebrews, not Romans or other Europeans, and Revelation is a symbolic treatise. Therefore, years are symbols for 360-year cycles on the Hebrew calendar. Likewise, a day symbolizes a literal year and Judgement Day, and Great Day refer to a year long period. The so-called Tribulation is now coming to an end, not starting, and the three faiths of Abraham have all been deceived by Rome during the previous age, which ended in year 2000 (5760). A new age began in 2001 (5761) and now the seventh angel has begun to sound!

    Hurricanes Katrina (#11) and Rita (#17) last year provided stunning validation of my research and interpretations of pivotal ancient wisdom, symbologies, key prophecies, and associated religious claims. Their storm numbers and timing perfectly synchronized with primary data and assertions in my book, thereby demonstrating the true nature of this universe and the existence of our Creator. We are now entering the final phases of the pivotal year-long period long symbolized as “Armageddon” and the “End of Days.” World-wide situations and events are now accelerating to set the stage for this summer’s dramatic continuation of these ancient promises.

    I fully understand that everyone has been bedeviled by similar claims throughout history. Consequently, I have been forced to rely on dramatic and devastating proof of the sort that can’t be ignored or easily dismissed. The numbers and timing of hurricanes Katrina (11) and Rita (17) directly validate key data and pivotal assertions throughout my book and my posts on those two forums. This data was purposely presented publicly before Katrina, Rita and other recent events occurred to prove they perfectly synchronize with key prophecies and Hebrew calendar cycles, thereby validating my interpretations of ancient wisdom symbology, string theory, and more.

    Because these two storms arrived shortly after my August 11, 2005 (50th) birthday (read the Dead Sea Scroll 11Q13 in Appendix G, which also discusses Melchizedek and the prophesied Jubilee) and directly match other pivotal 11 and 17 data and events described in the first chapter of my book, I have delivered verifiable proof that this reality is based on thought, knowledge and wisdom. Activity, patterns, and results perceived in space-time are first framed and defined by inspirations, thoughts, and knowledge and influenced by the cause-and-effect system most commonly referred to as karma. Consequently, events and outcomes in the so-called physical universe are not random or wholly mechanistic and are verifiably influenced in ways that atheists, scientists, and members of the Faiths of Abraham have all scoffed at. Though mysticism is mostly a product of misinterpreted ancient wisdom symbology, many of its topics flow from ancient wisdom. Though containing allusions to the truth, its details and interpretations are wrong on many key points.

    A prime example of the purposeful and synchronized symbolism of these events is seen in the opening paragraphs from my book excerpted below. Notice that the dates mentioned (August 11 and 17) directly match the numbers of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and the time spans of the four Florida hurricanes match my birth year (‘55), and they were spaced 11 or a multiple-of-11 (22) days apart, directly matching my birthday and much other ancient prophecy and symbolism. Notice that my place of birth, Victoria Texas, is on the Gulf Coast. Following are the excerpted paragraphs:

    Hello, my name is Lawrence William Page II. Many people know me as Buddy Page. At the release of the first edition of this book, I am a 50-year old African-American male, author, researcher, and former software engineer and entrepreneur. As you will come to understand as you read through this first book, I am also the long-expected Hebrew Messiah and Lion of the Tribe of Juda (Yehuda).

    I was born August 11th (month of Leo the Lion), 1955 (Chinese year of the Sheep) in Victoria, Texas. Furthermore, the Grand Cross alignment and Solar Eclipse of August 11th, 1999 was my 44th birthday and the second Grand Cross alignment, just six days later on August 17th, 1999, was on my mother’s birthday.

    As you can see from my date of birth, I was a newborn during the Chinese Year of the Sheep, astrologically marking me as a Lamb, and during the month of Leo, astrologically marking me as a Lion. My mother was also born during the month of August and under the sign of Leo, which further marks me as a lion’s whelp. I prove to you in the first chapter of this book–beyond disproof–that I am indeed the long-prophesied “Lion” of the tribe of Juda (Yehuda) the Root of David and the “Lamb.” I am the individual long symbolized as the Branch, the Stem, the Shoot and the Rod from the Stump of Jesse (King David’s father), as symbolized in the Hebrew Book of Isaiah, The Apocalypse, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and elsewhere. I am the reincarnated Teacher sought after in the “East” and by the ancient Hebrews who were headquartered at the outpost community of Damascus (Qumran), of Dead Sea Scrolls fame. I am the one called the Teacher of Righteousness by the Dead Sea Scrolls, whom the so-called Christian fathers have fraudulently recast as “Saint ‘James’, the Lord’s Brother.”

    Remember, “I come as a thief…” ?

    Read verse twelve of the Gospel of Thomas to understand who I am…

    Even further enlightening, the Second Temple Period of ancient Israel was during the 11th 360-year cycle on the Hebrew calendar and we are now in the 6th year (5766/2005-6) of the 17th cycle. Notice the pivotal 11 and 17 numbers again? This and much other synchronized information serve as stunning and decisive proof of many things, and expose many lies told by all three faiths of Abraham, but most specifically by Christianity. Consequently, I have decisively proven, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Jesus Christ and Christianity are blatant lies, false prophecy and purposeful deception in a manner that cannot easily be denied, regardless of your faith or other opinions.

    Furthermore, the symbolism in the Apocalypse (a.k.a. Book of Revelation) of seven stars in my right hand and seven angels represent the very same above-mentioned seven astrological (360-year) cycles, i.e., the 11th through 17th inclusive. I prove this fact beyond any reasonable doubt in the first chapter of the book. Consequently, The Apocalypse verifiably symbolizes a specific span of time that began with the 11th cycle (Second Temple Period) and concludes now, at the beginning of the 17th cycle (End of Days, etc.).

    The numbers 11 and 17 are verifiably encoded in The Apocalypse and other ancient Hebrew prophecies and wisdom texts to serve as key proofs of the validity and true meaning of certain prophecies and related information. My and my mother’s birthdays are purposely synchronized with these two storm numbers, the matching Hebrew calendar cycles, the Double Grand Cross alignments and solar eclipse of August 1999, and much else to prove my direct association with the ancient prophecies about this time and the true identity of the prophesied Messiah. Another prime example is the story of Joseph, the 11th son of Jacob who has a dream when he is 17 years old about 11 stars, the sun, and moon bowing to him. The symbolism in this pivotal story in the Book of Genesis and Quran verifiably refers to the very same 11th through 17th cycles symbolized in The Apocalypse and directly synchronizes with other key events and ancient texts.

    Consequently, I have demonstrated various things about the nature of this reality that dramatically disprove and/or clarify key assumptions of religion, mysticism, and science alike, while establishing the true meaning and purpose of long misinterpreted ancient wisdom and the symbolism used to model and encode it. Accordingly, I have proven that the symbolism evidenced in the canons of all three faiths of Abraham and other ancient sources is a very ancient and advanced philosophical technology that verifiably models foundational aspects of our existence in this universe. This is the mostly misunderstood body of ancient wisdom long referred to as the Philosophers’ Stone. It uses a large and ingeniously organized collection of physical universe images and concepts as data rich components (symbols) that are based on verifiable rules. It models and encodes an amazing amount of foundational wisdom about life, spirituality and the 11 dimensions of this universe, now verified by string theory. It is also the advanced encryption method used to encode (seal) Hebrew prophecies and wisdom texts.

    These ancient prophecies and wisdom texts used advanced symbology to model fundamental wisdom, including future events and situations. A primary facet of ancient wisdom is numeric symbology. Later misinterpretations of this aspect of ancient wisdom resulted in numerology, which, though embodying allusions to certain wisdom, is mostly error prone and false doctrine. My decryption, documentation, and interpretation of ancient symbology, numeric symbolism, and key texts based on them, are now decisively validated.

    Here is Wisdom…

    Verifiable proof that Armageddon has begun…

    Understanding the End Game of Armageddon


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